I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
