I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
