i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
