I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize