those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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