He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
