I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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