Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
