I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
