I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
