Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
