you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
