So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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