dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
