sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize