Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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