When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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