before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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