I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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