Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
