it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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