? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
