just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
