playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
