i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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