I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
