Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
