I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
