We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
