i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
