For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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