I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
