yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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