he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
