im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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