We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
