she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
