I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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