Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
