Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize