Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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