Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
