i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
