I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
