used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize