clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
