went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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