Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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