chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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