my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
