Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
