I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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