dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Found your dick twin last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize