and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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