I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
