So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
