You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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