Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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