Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
