Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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