you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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