Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
