I think my fart just growled at me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
