I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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