i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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