can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
