You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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