Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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