i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Alive.
So much puke
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Congratulations! We have a period
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