I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
