Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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