dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
