Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
